April 30, 2015

And Other Katy Perry Songs

Here are some statistics about my night at the New York Public Library's Young Lions Fiction Award Benefit on Monday:

Drinks I had to calm down before the event: 3

Additional drinks I told myself I would have before announcement of award, in case I had to get up on stage and talk: 0

Seconds of deliberation between being offered free champagne on arrival and accepting: 2.21

Unintentionally insulting comments made to fellow nominee Ben Lerner: 1

Times Ethan Hawke manhandled me into position for a photograph: 2

(*Unrelated) times I said "Thank you" to Ethan Hawke: 2

Times I met Jenny Slate without realising it was Jenny Slate: 1

Times I thought "oh shit, that was Jenny SLATE": 1 (at least)

Embarrassed flinches at awkward phrasing while listening to actor Vincent Piazza read my work: 6

Moments during said reading when I thought "what do I know this guy from, he looks so familiar?": 16

Times I IMDB'ed him afterwards: 2

Things I've actually seen him in: 0

So why did he look so damn familiar?: beats me

Times I said "Thank you again" to Ethan Hawke: 1

Times I saw winner Molly Antopol and considered stopping her to tell her (genuinely) how much I enjoyed her book and that I thought she far and away deserved to win: 5

Times I actually talked to Molly Antopol: 0

Mini tacos I ate while continuing to drink at after party: SHUT UP I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH

Liquor stores I attempted to go to on way back to hotel: 3

Bottles of "Vineyard Creek" wine-based beverage I considered buying at Duane Reade: 0

Bottles of overpriced hotel wine I bought instead: 1

Glasses of wine anybody else actually wanted: 0

Times I would do it all again: ∞

April 04, 2015

Breaking: Earning Less Than Similarly Qualified Men Just A Bunch Of Whining Too

Last October, researchers at the Open University of Israel published the results of a study investigating the factors influencing how women recall the pain of labour. According to their rather dry abstract:
We found that despite the exceptional physical and emotional experiences of childbirth, the memory of the pain involved in labor was biased toward the average of the peak pain and the end pain, whereas the duration of the delivery had a relatively negligible effect on the recollected intensity of pain.... [Our analysis] corroborated previous findings that the level of pain toward the end of an experience greatly influences the way the overall experience is remembered.
The study was picked up by science journalism clearinghouse EurekAlert, who glossed it quite reasonably thus:
Memories of pain during childbirth tied to intensity rather than length of labor

Childbirth is physically intense and, for many women, it is the most painful experience they will have. And yet, new research shows that the amount of time a woman spends in labor doesn't seem to impact how she remembers her labor pain afterwards.
EurekAlert also explains the theory underpinning the experiment:
The idea that we tend to remember an experience as a joint product of peak point and end point of the experience while ignoring all other parts is well known to researchers, dubbed the "peak-end bias," but it has primarily been tested in lab settings using relatively brief experiments. Thus, it remained unclear as to whether the peak-end bias would apply to real life events.
So, there you have it. A couple of psychologists found a clever way to test in a real-life situation a phenomenon that has frequently been observed in lab tests.

Say, how did the press pick this up, anyway?
Study says child birth pain not as painful as women claim
That's right, folks. The take-home for the (male?) junior staff writer whose (female?) editor handed him the science beat this week was: why bitches always gotsta be complainin', man?

Okay, junior staff writer. Let's see how else you can completely botch this.
The researchers then called the moms twice, two days after birth and again two months later... The results show the women rated the process less painful two days after their delivery than they did when the researchers asked them again two months later.

According to the researchers, they conclude that moms are likely to forget all the points during labor that aren't quite as painful and just focus on the moments that were the most painful.
PEOPLE. Not "moms." PEOPLE. If a dude gets kicked eight times and one of those times happens to be in the nuts, he'll probably remember the whole experience as pretty freakin' painful. You'd never tell him he was probably recalling it as worse than it was. Jesus. If you'll permit a moment of angry feminist ranting, this is pure patriarchal devaluing-the-experiences-of-women bullshit.

It's also, maybe, a case of an idiot being put in charge of science writing, because...
The reason for the study? To determine if an epidural is helpful for moms.