September 30, 2011

September 29, 2011

Arithmetic Fail

What a bargain!

September 23, 2011

September 21, 2011

Breaking News From The U.N. General Assembly

A broad delegation of over thirty developing countries interrupted proceedings at the United Nations General Assembly today, to protest their treatment at the hands of multinational corporations.

Ahmed Al-Medina, a delegate from Chad, spearheaded the demonstration. "It is simply unacceptable the way American business concerns continue to dominate the way Chadians live their everyday lives," he said.

That sentiment was echoed by a chorus of other African, South American, and Asian countries. "Enough is enough," said Davtavi Mirgonova, of Tajikistan. "Facebook has to stop fucking with the newsfeed layout. I have no idea anymore how to find out what my bitchy friend Kelly saw on the subway this morning."

"What the hell is this new 'things we think will interest you' feature?" added J.H. Ramasuvian, the Guyanese Secretary of the Interior Monologue. "Yeah, like I care about some high school friend I haven't seen in years having an argument with his wife!" Mr Ramsuvian proceeded to tweet his discontent.

Among American users of Facebook, reactions followed a different path. "I'm deeply concerned about Palestine's bid for membership in the U.N.," said Nick Painter, an IT analyst from Hoboken.

"OMG," added Pamela Dickinson, a freelance magazine writer from Iowa City. "Just saw that Somalia has the highest infant mortality rate in the world. WHY IS THIS STILL HAPPENING?"

Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook founder and CEO, failed to respond to pokes.

September 16, 2011

September 09, 2011

September 02, 2011