April 13, 2010

The Continuing Saga Of Periodical Thief

As regular readers will be aware, I have occasionally had problems this year with neighbours stealing my newspaper. This week, while I was away in Denver, said neighbours kicked the offensive up to the next level (offensive in both senses of the word): they stole my mail.

Well, so, okay, they stole one particular piece of my mail and that piece was my copy of the New Yorker, which isn't quite as bad as stealing an actual letter, but still: FUCKING SERIOUSLY?

You might reasonably ask how I know my New Yorker was stolen — rather than, say, not delivered by an errant postman — and here is my answer: the little subscription card that falls out of the New Yorker each week was still lying in the mail room, AND, after I had scribbled on said subscription card a note to the effect of "Please give me my fucking magazine back, motherfucker" (minus profanity and plus niceties, but you get the idea), my New Yorker was mysteriously back in my mailbox within eight hours. BUSTED.

Now I just need to decide whether or not to report him using the handy United States Postal Inspection Service website. It's a shame mail theft is no longer a capital offence.

1 comment:

Papa' said...

What has the US Postal Inspection Service got against Nigerians?

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