January 20, 2010


So last night, Republican Scott Brown cruised to a flabbergastingly comfortable victory over Democrat Martha Coakley in the special election to replace Massachusetts senator Ted Kennedy.

The New York Times ran with the following analysis of the results on the front page: A Year Later, Voters Send a Different Message.

Actually, NYT, I'm going to have to disagree with you there and say that voters have sent pretty much the same message they send at every election in this country: we are indecisive and impatient, and are for the most part so mindlessly anti-establishment that we will, on principle, vote against the ruling party because we simultaneously believe that they have too much power and that they are incapable of getting anything done.

In her concession speech, Coakley praised her campaign staff and supporters, saying, "We never lost our focus or our determination" [N.B. because they didn't have any in the first place], and "I know how hard we worked" [N.B. NOT AT ALL UNTIL ABOUT TEN DAYS AGO].

Scott Brown, meanwhile, celebrated his victory with a brash terrorist fist bump:

I hope you're happy, Massachusetts.

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