June 21, 2009

Actual Recycling Jokes

Ever since I wrote this post about SNL recycling its jokes last month, I've started getting a pretty hefty number of Google hits from people actually looking for recycling jokes (jokes about recycling, yes?). Indeed, people looking for such jokes now make up about 9% of all my search traffic and 2% of my total site traffic, which is kind of a lot considering I don't think I've ever actually made a joke about recycling — unless you count this stupendous Al Gore zing from two years ago (and even then I don't make the most obvious recycling joke: "Man, Al Gore loves the planet so much he even recycles his name!").

Anyway, all that is about to change. For the edification of my anonymous, accidental readers, I now present: RECYCLING JOKES

Q. Why did the chicken carrying several bags full of separated paper, plastic, glass, and metal cross the road?
A. To get to a Halloween party dressed as a recycler. Then the landfill.

Q. How many environmentalists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two: one to change the light bulb, the other to lecture you about why you should have bought one of those stupid twisty fluorescent ones and reduced our dependency on raw materials over time!

Q. Did you hear the one about the aluminium recycling plant?
A. It smelt!

Q. What did the blonde take to the recycling centre?
A. A big bag of used condoms, because blondes are so stupid and promiscuous!

Q. What was the Japanese Tom Jones impersonator's most recycling-friendly song?
A. "The Green Green Glass of Home"

Q. Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets?
A. Polly, Ethel and Ian! (You could only take them out on certain days of the week.)



Anonymous said...

"How many words are there in a novel?"
"Usually between fifty and a hundred thousand"
"Oh, then I'm finished!"

Seriously, though, congratulations.

Andrew said...

Thanks! My favourite novel-writing joke is:

"How's the novel going?"
"I'm writing 500 words a day... DIFFERENT words!"

Anonymous said...

Are you serious? Nice try though. A for effort!

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