May 02, 2009

Swine Flu Update: Day 19

From BBC NEWS | UK: Swine flu transfer to English man

A South Gloucestershire man has become the first person in England to catch overactive media flu without visiting Mexico, reports the BBC. Read on to hear more of the SHOCKING TALE of Barry Greatorex, and the CHILLING ORDEAL that befell him in CHIPPING SODBURY:
"Initially I thought it was because I had over-exerted myself in the garden…" he said.
GASP!
Mr Greatorex has never had flu so presumed it was the "worst cold" he'd ever had.
NO!

In a telephone interview with the BBC, Mr Greatorex laid out his nightmarish affliction in no uncertain terms:
The first two or three days this week, it was — I was pretty grotty.
Meanwhile, in Mexico, a sheepish health minister informed the press that, in fact:
The suspected death toll from swine flu [has been revised down] from 176 to 101 . . .

Based on samples tested, the mortality rate was comparable with that of seasonal flu.
But… What about the GLOBAL PANDEMIC THAT COULD KILL 40 TO 50 MILLION PEOPLE?
The new virus lacked the traits that made the 1918 flu pandemic so deadly, [a] CDC official said. . . .

Although experts were concerned about the possibility of severe cases, the majority so far had been "mild, self-limited illness".
YEAH! JUST LIKE A HOLLYWOOD BLOCKBUS — oh.
[Health minister Jose] Cordova appeared to agree, saying that the Mexican authorities may, on reflection, have overestimated the danger.
Look out for the exciting film adaptation of the Swine Flu Crisis of 2009, coming next year from 20th Century Fox: Overestimated Danger. Starring Harrison Ford as Felipe Calderón, Phylicia Rashad as Michelle Obama, Benicio del Toro as "Patient Zero", and Will Ferrell as the flu virus. (Tagline: They thought it was just another case of the flu… They didn't count on being right.)

I told you so?

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