February 04, 2008

Girl Power

I don't mean to contribute any further to the waves of gleeful literati scorn radiating around the internet right now, but...

From Newsvine: British Stores Halt 'Lolita' Beds
LONDON — Woolworths stores in Britain have stopped selling "Lolita" beds for young girls after a parents' organization complained because of the name's association with the famous novel about a pedophile.
The thing I find funny is, first of all, the blithe statement by the Woolworths' spokeswoman that:
"There aren't many people in the company, in the whole world, who know about the Lolita book or films." (Emphasis mine)
And, second of all, the fact that, despite blaming the mishap on website staff being "unaware" of the book and films, Woolworths' website actually sells both films. Go figure.

Still, at least they didn't call it the "The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things" bed.


In other news, the Spice Girls are cutting short their reunion tour.
The group, which reunited in a blaze of publicity last June, said on Friday that the tour will now end in Toronto on Feb. 26.…

The Spice Girls' tour kicked off in Vancouver, Canada, on Dec. 2, and has also included stops in Britain, the United States, Spain and Germany.
I'm sorry, but it started in Vancouver and is ending in Toronto... and in between it went to Germany? I think I speak for environmentalists everywhere when I say: zig-a-zig WHAAAAA?! Apparently they are trying to leave a carbon footprint that will rival Mel B's waistline HO SNAP!

Sorry, I know I normally don't stoop to such levels, but I think if you are going to waste oil and money with such cavalier disregard for anyone else on the planet, you deserve a fat joke or two. To wit, a few more zingers (Leno, if you're reading this — and who are we kidding, you probably are — feel free to use these. I know your writers are still on strike):

No, this is true, the Spice Girls have cancelled the second half of their tour. In a statement they said it was due to family and personal commitments… So I guess David Beckham needs to be burped.

But seriously, the tour has been drawing a pretty poor turnout now that Baby Spice is more like Old Spice. Hey oh!

No, but really, they've cancelled their show in Sydney. I guess they've realised that, these days, no one wants to see them Down Under.

Zing, wah-wah, etc.

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