June 16, 2007

Summary, Not Summery

I wish had an interesting (or even coherent) excuse for why I haven't done my usual minstrel-like job of entertaining you through the medium of blog this week. But basically I have just been so busy and tired that I haven't had even half an hour to sit in front of my computer since last weekend.

So let me condense a week's worth of material into one post.


Ocean's Thirteen: better than Ocean's Twelve, still a little flat. Don't know if I would even say that much had I not happened across a London cinema that lets you take beer in.


Al Gore calls G8 climate plan a disgrace. Again. Also, bear shits in woods.


It's the middle of June. It's Edinburgh. Accordingly it has rained for the last three days straight. Sorry, Adrienne.


The City of London Police "Fraud Squad" came to work the other day to keep us up-to-date with new developments in fraud. The presentation was the sort of opaque and uninformative babble that is pretty typical of police officers trying to explain laws to civilians they presume to be idiots. A few of my favourite lines:
“Obtaining property by deception is when you use a deception to obtain property."

“What is false representation? It’s representation that is untrue.”
This one was also nicely surreal:
"If you think you might be suspicious, you should really be thinking about SARS.”
(A SAR, I later found out, is a 'Suspicious Activity Report'. Naturally Wikipedia gave me this information, rather than the policeman sent to explain fraud laws to me.)

And, of course, the Sherlock-Holmes-turning-in-his-fictional-grave shocking truth about police work:
"The first thing we do when we get a tip about someone is type their name into Google.”

I am still not on Facebook. The number of people who have joined "my" group appears to have reached a stunningly high plateau of nineteen — which is not going to achieve anything, because it's a level of interest that sits quite nicely between the amount of peer pressure I can comfortably ignore, and the amount of attention that I enjoy getting. So there.

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