June 19, 2007

Beyond Be-Leaf

From Newsvine: Man Says Salad Stolen From Refrigerator
SOMERSET — Someone kicked in the door of a man's apartment, stuck a knife in the door and took a chilled salad from his refrigerator…

Nothing but the salad was missing, police said…

Police said they have a suspect and expect to file charges once they finish their investigation.
In yet another plethoric pundigrions scoop, I can exclusively reveal the identity of the suspect: just click here.

Okay, so that was a joke. The real culprit was obviously a confused kidnapper trying to take the man's daughter. He misinterpreted the instructions of his accomplice: "Okay, just get in there and Caesar!"

Or maybe it was Paul Newman.

Interestingly, 'salad' is a category tag on Newsvine, and if you head on over to www.newsvine.com/salad you'll find a whole host of other greens-related news.

For instance, the most interesting thing to happen in The Hague since Milosevic joined MySpace.*

(*I wrote this as a joke, then out of morbid curiosity Googled "Milosevic MySpace" and, sure enough. Is there anything internet witsters won't do?)

But, without a doubt, the most entertaining sentence involving salad appearing in a news story is the following:
It was the pumping carotid artery in the neck of Warren Steed Jeffs that convinced Nevada Highway Patrolman Eddie Dutchover that he had cornered someone big.

"I knew some type of criminal activity was possibly afoot," Dutchover said after he stopped Jeffs with a brother and one of his wives in a new luxury SUV that had only a paper tag instead of a license plate.

Inside the car on Monday night, Jeffs seemed evasive and started to eat a salad.
Boy! That has 'guilty' written all over it! I hear OJ had a massive cheese board on the passenger seat when they pulled over the Bronco.


I'm going to Sardinia Thursday morning, so there may be another long silence until next week...

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