April 04, 2007

Punchy Prose

A few brief punchlines:

From Newsvine:
CHICAGO — He wears Jesus' robes and a neon blue halo, looks like Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama and is causing a stir at a Chicago art school. An undergraduate student's papier mache sculpture of Obama as a messianic figure — entitled "Blessing" — went on display Saturday at a downtown gallery run by the School of the Art Institute of Chicago.
Whoa, first a chocolate Jesus, and now a chocolate Jesus! What horrendous assault will the Catholic community have to endure next? Chocolate rabbits? Chocolate eggs?


From Newsvine:
MOUNT CLEMENS, MICH. — In a March 26 story about rapper Eminem and his ex-wife Kim Mathers, The Associated Press reported erroneously that the pair agreed in a court order not to criticize each other in public. The court order only prevents them from criticizing each other in front of their daughter, Hailie, and does not affect what they say in public.
Thank GOD.


When the tsunami hit the Solomon Islands the other day, one of the headlines I saw read: "Tsunami hits Solomon Islands; four missing," and I thought, 'Man! How big does a tsunami have to be to wash away four islands?!'


From Newsvine:
Both the dogs and the humans on a recent evening at the Seattle/King County Humane Society seemed relaxed and focused for about 40 minutes of "doggie yoga."…

The class was designed to offer a new way for humans to spend time with their pets.

"This is 80 percent fun," said Eve Holt, director of community relations for the Seattle Humane Society.
"The other 20 percent is truly horrifying," she added.


I heard this joke at work the other day:

Q. Why did OJ Simpson decide to move to West Virginia?
A. Everyone there has the same DNA.

I appreciate that this manages to zing both OJ and West Virginia. How many other jokes do you know that can do the same?


On the other hand, in this post I have managed to zing: Catholics, African Americans (with specific emphasis on OJ Simpson), tsunami victims, Eminem, West Virginians, and yoga enthusiasts. I really need to work on my political correctness.

1 comment:

Gil said...

Coincidentally, I know how to say chocolate Jesus in sign language. No joke.

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