March 10, 2007

Political Views of the Rich and Famous

From Newsvine: Edwards: Jesus Would Be 'Appalled'

Speaking to a religious website last week, Presidential hopeful John Edwards claimed that Jesus would be disappointed and even appalled at the US policy of focusing on its short term needs while ignoring the suffering of others.

Angry Republicans quickly shot back at Edwards's invective, claiming that "This is precisely the sort of inflammatory rhetoric beloved of evil individuals like Osama bin Laden."

Meanwhile, the White House issued a statement saying that such tactics were not in keeping with Constitution and that Abraham Lincoln would be outraged.

A spokesperson for Edwards responded to these attacks in a press release which stated: "If the Republicans want to continue to resort to this sort of mudslinging, they'd be well respected by the likes of King George III."

Barack Obama, one of Edwards's biggest rivals, capitalised on the scandal with his characteristic eloquence: "All I'm saying is, you wouldn't catch Mother Teresa getting involved in a debate like this."

Hillary Clinton, the other principal Democratic contender for President, also chimed in: "If we can't get past this level of maturity in our political discourse, we might as well all get into bed with Pol Pot. I'm sure he'd be happy to have us."

Across the Atlantic, the European press responded to the incident with glee. The Sun ran with the headline "Jesus Loves Saddam", while Italian daily La Repubblica mused in an editorial: "E checosa penserebbe Marcello Mastroianni di tutto questo?" ("And what would Cary Grant think of all this?")

Well, I can't speak for Jesus, but I can tell you that Andrew sure is appalled by John Edwards and his cheap and hollow campaign tactics. You just lost my vote, sir.

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