October 05, 2006

When Shit Hits The Fans

From Newsvine: DNA May Implicate Malibu Stars’ Toilets
MALIBU, CALIF. — Just whose waste is fouling the most star-studded stretch of the Southern California coast?

. . . Environmentalists and health officials suspect Malibu homeowners' leaky septic tanks are allowing what gets flushed down the toilet to flow down the hills and into the Pacific Ocean. To identify the offenders, authorities intend to use DNA testing and, if necessary, get court warrants to inspect septic tanks. And that includes tanks buried in the backyards of Hollywood celebrities . . .

"It is a big deal that the county is now saying, `We're willing to go on to properties to see what the source of fecal contamination is,'" says Mark Gold, executive director of the local environmental group Heal the Bay.
Ew. I’m sure glad my country isn’t saying that.
County officials initially will focus on properties with heavier toilet use, such as restaurants and Barbra Streisand's old estate.
Whoa! Wicked burn on Barbra Streisand!! It’s got to be pretty upsetting when local politicians use their legislative power to make editorial comments about your creative output — I heard that was what drove Kurt Cobain to suicide. (Come on, deep down, you know I’m right.)

On a completely unrelated topic, did you know that Facebook is ranked seventh in terms of total web traffic in the US? How did God let this happen?*

And splendid news! I received word today that my broadband gets hooked up tomorrow, instead of at the end of the month — so I can now talk on the phone and studiously avoid social networking sites at the same time! Woot.


*Because everyone knows that God is totally a Friendster guy.

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