June 26, 2012

And Of Course The Director Of Crash Should Be Involved

I haven't seen Brave, yet, but I'm told there's a scene where two of the characters — at least one of them red-haired — are given haggis to eat (icky!) and start throwing it at each other instead (hilarious!). And after more than ten years, now, of living outside Scotland, and being pretty sick of hearing the haggis jokes from everyone who finds out where I'm from, I decided to come up with a few alternative scenes that I can imagine in this one's place if I go to see Brave myself:

(1) The characters are all Mexican. Two of them — at least one of them mustachioed — are given cabeza tacos (icky!) and start throwing them at each other instead (hilarious!).

(2) The characters are all Jewish. Two of them — at least one of them hook-nosed — are given gefilte fish (icky!) and start throwing it at each other instead (hilarious!).

(3) The characters are all Irish. Two of them — at least one of them drunk — are given black pudding (icky!) and start throwing it at each other instead (hilarious!).

(4) The characters are all from the Midwest. Two of them — at least one of them morbidly obese — are given the entire menu from The Cheesecake Factory (icky!) and start throwing it at each other instead (hilarious!).

(5) The characters are all Arabic. Two of them — at least one of them with a giant bushy beard — are given a goat to eat (icky!) and start throwing it at each other instead (hilarious!).

(6) The characters are all from the Deep South. Two of them — at least one of them inbred and retarded — are given squirrel to eat (icky!) and start throwing it at each other instead (hilarious!). (N.B. This may actually have happened in Joe Dirt.)

(7) The characters are all black. Two of them...

Actually, I'm not going to go there because it would be KIND OF OFFENSIVE. Funny, that.

In related news, this.

1 comment:

Kay Camden said...

YES. What a perfect way to show the double standards that exist in political correctness. Funny indeed.

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