February 25, 2011

February 18, 2011

February 17, 2011

The Most Outstanding Sentence of the Year

From AOL Health: UCLA Scientists Identify Possible Baldness Cure

There is just so much ridiculous packed into this one sentence I can't even attempt to process it all at once:
"Our findings show that a short-duration treatment with this compound causes an astounding long-term hair regrowth in chronically stressed mutant mice,' Million Mulugeta, an adjunct professor of medicine in the division of digestive diseases at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA and a corresponding author of the research, said in a statement.
1. "Chronically stressed mutant mice." Unsuccessful spin-off of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

2. "Million Mulugeta." Made-up name. It HAS to be! It's too amazing to be real.

3. "David Geffen School of Medicine." Affiliated with the Joan Rivers School of Law and the Alfred Knopf School of Hairdressing. What?

February 15, 2011

All These Jokes Have Probably Been Made Already

From BBC News: Larry the cat joins David Cameron in Downing Street
David Cameron has welcomed a cat to Downing Street in an effort to deal with No 10's rat problem.
What, is he deathly allergic to cats or something? HEY-OH!
According to Downing Street, the animal has "a high chase-drive and hunting instinct", developed during his time on the streets.
Incidentally, Robin Cook had the same thing.
He is the latest in a long line of Downing Street cats, known unofficially as Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office.
Officially: Chancellor of the Exchequer.
Humphrey was adopted in 1989 after wandering into No 10 as a stray while Margaret Thatcher was prime minister.
Jesus. How bad must the London streets be for stray cats if they'd rather live with Margaret Thatcher?

Downing Street has also suggested that Larry might be consulted to help slash the budget.

SPLABANGO!

February 11, 2011

February 04, 2011

February 03, 2011

Someone Should Get Them A Collar



Or is it meant to be some kind of Red Hot Chili Peppers reference? DAOAFDA?

Letterman, Eat Your Heart Out

Top ten panels this year at AWP, the annual writers conference:

10. "People Who Mumble Into Microphones: A Panel Discussion"

9. "Making Your Manuscript The Best It Can Be: How to Kill Your Darlings, Really Make Your Prose Shine, Read Your Manuscript As if it Were Someone Else's, and Other Tips For Getting Published"

8. "Ekphrasis: Your Guide To The Word That Is In At Least One Panel Title Every Year"

7. "Women Writers Writing Women's Writing About Women: A Reading"

6. "Come Hear The Editor of a Prestigious Journal Make Jokes About What It Takes To Get Published In Their Journal, In the Hope That Attending Will, In Fact, Get You Published In It"

5. "Life At A Fledgling Lit Journal: A Roundtable Discussion With The Editors of Broken Coffepot Review, Dirtboob, Julianna Baggot, and Tumbleweed Fortune Teller"

4. "Look, Other People Get Rejected Too! Group Catharsis As Affirmation of Self-Worth"

3. "Is e-Publishing Killing The Publishing Industry Any More Than When We Couldn't Arrive At A Definite Answer Last Year?"

2. "Is It Really Possible To Teach Writing? Writing Teachers and Their Successful Students Reflect"

And, of course...

1. "Oh, Shit, I Forgot I Signed Up For This Thing: Four Panelists on the Importance of Not Agreeing to Panels on the Last Night of the Previous Year's Conference"

February 02, 2011

Poor CNN! Did You Make A Boo-Boo?

From PopEater.com: Anderson Cooper Attacked By Protesters in Egypt
Anderson Cooper and his crew were attacked by supporters of embattled Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak in Cairo early Wednesday, according to the Huffington Post. CNN Coverage Manager Steve Brusk tweeted that Cooper was "was punched 10 times in the head as pro-Mubarak mob surrounded him and his crew trying to cover demonstration."
I believe some Egyptians have also been having a hard time of it.