February 24, 2010

Department of the Bleedin' Obvious

There's something about this headline that just isn't that surprising:

AOL News: Killer Whale Kills Again at SeaWorld Orlando

SeaWorld has "initiated an investigation to determine, to the extent possible, what occurred," which might seem like asking a stupid question ("oh, it was a KILLER whale"), except that SeaWorld's General Manager and impromptu spokesperson is none other than one DAN BROWN, so I'm guessing the whale was actually trying to cover up a Templar conspiracy or something.

SeaWorld has also evacuated all visitors from the area surrounding the whale's tank. Just in case...?

Speaking of obvious headlines:

Newsvine: ‘Millennials’ an always on, texting generation

Gosh, there's another piece of news I never would have expected. People born after 1980 use more technology than their parents! Who knew?

Tell me, internet, do you have any more startling revelations to share before I get back to work?

AOL Spinner: Vampire Weekend's Rostam Batmaglij Comes Out

Someone in Vampire Weekend is GAY? I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

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