June 17, 2009

Timeless Question Finally Answered

In the class I taught last semester, my (largely) freshman students were pretty critical of Twitter (twitical?), calling it stupid and pointless and self-indulgent. My reaction at the time was: welll, if eighteen-year-olds aren't using Twitter, who the hell is? (Which was, in itself, a reformulation of a question I'd already been asking about Twitter for quite some time.)

Anyway, apparently the answer is IRAN, or protesters, or democracy, or something like that — so much so that, as I'm sure most of you have already heard, the U.S. State Department gently suggested yesterday that Twitter reschedule a planned outage to minimise disruption to the flow of information in Iran.

Although the White House has denied it is trying to meddle in Iranian politics, and Twitter claims they made the decision to delay maintenance completely independent of the government, this exclusive transcript uncovered by plethoric pundigrions suggests otherwise.
capitolhillary @twitter you guys been watchin the news?
twitter @capitolhillary um, yeah why
twitter @thirdparty holy shit dude hillary clinton is totally talkin to me!!!!
capitolhillary @twitter well maybe you should, you know... #iranelections #twitteroutage
twitter *independent thought* /lies/
thirdparty @twitter sweet dude tell her I totally voted for her
thirdparty ...after edwards was out ZING! #hillarypwned
twitter @capitolhillary okay okay. anything else benevolent overlord?
thirdparty thirdparty ftw!
iheartgreysuits @capitolhillary @twitter BACK OFF #iranelections
twitter fml
iran moussavi ftw! #iranelections
democracy victory?
I don't really have any idea what I just wrote, or even if it approximates with any accuracy what a Twitter transcript should look like.

pundigrions out of touch #meta


Anonymous said...

Bush promoted democracy in the Middle East by invading and occupying a country for five years.
Obama promotes democracy in the Middle East by asking Twitter to reschedule maintenance. Both policies seem equally effective, but Obama's is way cheaper.

Anonymous said...

I never understood what all the @s and #s meant. I don't even know what the joke is because I can't understand any of it. And I still think "Fuck the World" every time I read FTW.

Heinz Healey said...

That transcript just blew my mind.

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