June 07, 2009

End Of World, You May Now Commence

From BBC News | Politics: BNP secures two European seats

The British Nationalist Party (not to be confused with the Monster Raving Loony Party) won two seats in the U.K. elections for the European parliament today.

Jesus.

For my non-British readers who don't stay as informed as they could about the batshit insane fringe of British politics, let me give you a brief taster of some of the BNP's campaign literature:
We support the re-introduction of corporal punishment for petty criminals and vandals, and the restoration of capital punishment for paedophiles, terrorists and murderers.

Globalisation, with its export of jobs to the Third World, is bringing ruin and unemployment to British industries and the communities that depend on them. . . . Accordingly, the BNP calls for the selective exclusion of foreign-made goods from British markets and the reduction of foreign imports. We will ensure that our manufactured goods are, wherever possible, produced in British factories, employing British workers. . . . When this is done, unemployment in this country will be brought to an end, and secure, well-paid employment will flourish.

Motorists must not be made the scapegoats for government failure. Fuel tax should be cut, motorway speed limits raised, and hidden speed cameras should be banned.

We reject the idea that Britain must forever be obliged to subsidise the incompetence and corruption of Third World states by supplying them with financial aid.

We will bring our troops back from Germany and withdraw from NATO, since recent political developments make both commitments obsolete.

The views of the majority of British people have been ignored and overridden by a Politically Correct ‘elite’ which thinks it knows best. . . . On immigration, on Capital Punishment, on the surrender of British sovereignty to the EU and in numerous other areas, democracy has been absent as Labour, Tories and Lib-Dems conspire in election after election to offer the British people no real choice on such vital issues.
So, to summarise: kill all the paedos, withdraw entirely from the global economy, make motorways a free-for-all, fuck the developing world, leave "obsolete" NATO, and try to break free from the sinister kabal of representational democracy that has for years shackled the British public with unreasonable and untenable policies such as "no capital punishment" and "immigration is normal".

Oh, and then there's the doozie that they're best known for:
On current demographic trends, we, the native British people, will be an ethnic minority in our own country within sixty years.

To ensure that this does not happen, and that the British people retain their homeland and identity, we call for an immediate halt to all further immigration, the immediate deportation of criminal and illegal immigrants, and the introduction of a system of voluntary resettlement whereby those immigrants who are legally here will be afforded the opportunity to return to their lands of ethnic origin assisted by a generous financial incentives both for individuals and for the countries in question.
Yes, that's right. Anyone who cannot prove that they descended from the handful of white people who inhabited Britain 7,000 years ago (they do actually use that number) will be paid to leave the country. And with a reception like that, why wouldn't they?

To put this in some kind of perspective, the BNP winning seats in the European parliament is a bit like the Nazi Party winning a Grammy; nobody quite knows how it happened, no reasonable person thinks it's warranted, and everybody is filled with a sort of horrified curiosity to see what they're going to do with it. And for that reason I would like to join in with the chorus of public figures who have called the BNP victory a "sad moment" in British politics.

(I'd say it was "a black day" in British politics, but it's the BNP — so it's the exact opposite.)

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