September 07, 2008

Dubai Dubai Doo

A full and resplendent treatise on Dubai will — with any luck — follow in the next few days. In the meantime, please enjoy this fresh set of fun facts about the emirate:

Dubai is an Arabic word meaning “Place of many grotesquely fat tourists who are unaware of the existence of sunscreen.”

•The official sand of Dubai is sand.

•Ninety percent of all buildings in Dubai are taller than ninety percent of all your buildings. Wuss.

•Dubai is home to the world’s only indoor black diamond ski run. It is literally made of black diamonds. Wuss.

•The world’s first form of air conditioning was invented in Dubai, a central “cooling tower” built into every home. The innovation made a small fortune for its creator, Mohammed al Sears-Roebuck.

•Old Dubai sits on the so-called “Dubai Creek”, which is where the expression “Up the creek without a paddle” originates (paddles are illegal in Dubai).

•There is a strict curfew enforced in Dubai for under-21s and anybody who is not made of gold. If you are under 21 and not made of gold, you are pretty fucked.

I am in Heathrow and pretty bored.

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