May 27, 2008

If My Life Were A PowerPoint Show

So, Road Trip ’08 is all wrapped up; I’m writing this on the plane back to Boston. And while I know my travelogue’s most recent instalment left off with still five days left to cover, I thought I’d just give you the talking points for the remainder, as writing about the desert, much like the desert itself, only stays interesting for so long. So:

Wednesday: Flagstaff to New Mexico. Like the ass of a supermodel with indigestion, it was flat and windy. I stopped off in Albuquerque for an hour or two (it is nice but bewilderingly devoid of people), and spent the night in Santa Fe. Historic US Route 66 is an enormous waste of time.

Thursday: The freakish heatwave that had plagued the first half of my drive had been replaced by a freakish low-pressure trough, and I drove from Santa Fe to Denver through drizzle and the occasional thunderstorm. US Route 64 is at least as gorgeous a drive as US Route 101, but the Rio Grande is the ugliest river I have ever seen, and that is saying something: I’ve been to Paris.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday: I spent the weekend with my uncle, aunt, and cousin Danny, split between their house in Denver and holiday home in the Rockies. I drank a lot of beer and did a lot of high-altitude hiking, thus discovering first hand why Colorado has both the highest beer production per capita and lowest rate of obesity in the country.

Things I can cross off my list of things to see before I die:
•Buffalo
•Wigwams
•The Grand Canyon
•The Vegas Strip
•Tumbleweed

Things I CANNOT cross off my list of things to see before I die:
•Buzzards
•Tepees (there is, apparently, a difference)
•Death Valley
•A Vegas Stripper
•Cacti shaped like the ones in cartoons

Concluding remarks: Those early American place-namers were pretty on the money. Death Valley really is deadly, the Grand Canyon really is grand, and the Dustbowl really is dusty. Needless to say, I am now really curious to see America’s Bread Basket.

My last pictures from the trip have been added to Facebook.

Fin.

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