April 28, 2008

Gobblesmacked

This is overdue.

I saw two turkeys today. Wild turkeys. I was just out for a run along the Riverway in Brookline, minding my own business, when I found my path blocked by two wild turkeys, loitering under a bridge and looking menacing.

It might seem bizarre for wild turkeys to hang around barely a mile from downtown Boston (and, indeed, it is), but a quick Google on the topic reveals that it's actually a far more common sight than you'd expect. And if this Globe article is anything to go by, I was lucky to escape with my buttocks intact.
BROOKLINE - On a recent afternoon, Kettly Jean-Felix parked her car on Beacon Street in Brookline, fed the parking meter, wheeled around to go to the optician and came face to face with a wild turkey.

The turkey eyed Jean-Felix. Jean-Felix eyed the turkey. It gobbled. She gasped. Then the turkey proceeded to follow the Dorchester woman over the Green Line train tracks, across the street, through traffic, and all the way down the block, pecking at her backside as she went. . . .

Dr. Ruth Smith, an internist from New York City, was staying with a cousin in Brookline a couple of weeks ago when she was stalked by what she describes as a 3-foot-tall turkey.

"He came at me and, at first, I tried to shoo him away," Smith recalled. "I figured I'd just go 'Shoo!' and he'd go. But he was very aggressive."

Smith said she escaped by ducking into the Dunkin' Donuts on Beacon Street.
I mean, good God! Is this what America has come to? Our citizens can't walk even down the street without being attacked by wild animals! And it's not just the turkeys! Later on during my run today, I passed a Canada goose who was hissing at another pedestrian and forcing him off the sidewalk!

So I say, forget the War on Terror. We need to be fighting the War on Ptera!

(Okay, that was kind of a stretch — but if you were grecophones Hellenophones it would kill.)

2 comments:

Mal said...

Yes, that was certainly overdue.

Amy@RunnersLounge said...

I never doubt the craziness of wild animals. It is turkey season (one of my running friends is a hunter and told me that) and also told me it is their season to be out and about. I have been run over by a deer and chased by a turkey - you think by now I would at least be a faster runner.

Amy
www.runnerslounge.com

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