February 13, 2008

The Rights to Remain Silent

From WCBS NEWSRADIO 880: Steven Spielberg Pulls Out of 2008 Beijing Summer Olympic Games Over Darfur
BEIJING (AP) -- Rights groups on Wednesday praised Hollywood director Steven Spielberg's decision to shun involvement with the Beijing Olympics opening and closing ceremonies because China was not doing enough to help end the crisis in Darfur...

Although not entirely unexpected, it appeared to catch Beijing organizers flat-footed.
Seriously? I'd be more worried about it catching them bound-footed.

Maybe I'm out of the loop on the latest human rights tactics, but what the hell kind of bullshit is this, anyway? I mean, in case you hadn't noticed, guys, China has about one billion human rights violations going on at home — and you're mad at them because of Darfur? What next? Are we going to start blaming them for greenhouse gas emissions, too?

Sorry… I'm being told that we in fact already do that.

Okay, so apparently China is "to blame" for Darfur because it pumps money into the Sudanese economy by buying oil. But that's only part of the problem. According to Ban Ki-moon (aka Kofi Annan II, aka Boutros Boutros-Ghali III), the other reason Darfur is so messed up is because of climate change. Which is caused by greenhouse gas emissions. So, man, I guess the buck really does stop at China. No wonder Spielberg is pissed.

But China is doing its part! It built that huge dam on the Yangtze! That way they can reduce their reliance on fossil fuels! See, they listen!

Oh, but… Right. We're not too happy about that, either. Apparently it's also kind of a human rights/environmental/financial disaster.

Man, it's tough being a developing country! How did the western world manage to industrialize without damaging the environment or infringing upon human rights? If only they'd taken notes!

Anyway, let's see if we can wrap this all up into a neat, conclusive plan of action for the Chinese. First of all, you've got to stop buying oil from Sudan, because that's a human rights disaster. But don't try and replace it with coal, because that's an environmental disaster. But don't try and replace it with hydro-electricity, because — well, man, you don't even want to know. Oh, but you'd better get that energy from somewhere, because you have a billion people to heat, house, feed and employ! (And don't forget the Olympics!) And if you even think about trying to cut any corners on any of this, Clooney will be down there in a heartbeat.

I believe that reports of western imperialism's death have been greatly exaggerated.

No comments:

Post a Comment