From MSN Lifestyle: 10 reasons it's great to be single
10. Your shoe inventory is nobody's business but your ownOh, come on. Shoes? Really? Why not just write, "10. Crippling consumer debt"? Besides, we live in such heady metrosexual times, most men are only going to complain about your shoe collection because they're jealous that it's bigger than theirs.
Seriously, do you realize how much a full-time partner would complain about your shoe collection?
9. The only mess in your home is your own mess!Um, how about you don't fucking do it, then? Are we really still at the stage where women are expected to clean up after their patriarchal overlord? I mean, we live in such heady metrosexual times, most men... Oh.
Picking up after a man is a sure way to kill the romance.
8. Trust us; you'll have peace of mind...but a poor grasp of colon usage.
7. Any night is girls' nightAlternatively, just don't date Lord freakin' Voldemort to begin with.
If you want to get all dolled up and hit the town with your friends... You can do so any night, without having to check in with you-know-who.
6. You don't have to deal with in-lawsAlthough, Lord Voldemort was an orphan, so I guess you could really go either way on that one.
5. It's all about you, all the timeI'm sorry, who are you dating that won't let you do these things in the first place? Job?
You can do what you want, go where you want, eat what you want, wear what you want, sleep in when you want, get up when you want, shop where you want ...
4. That big, comfortable bed is ALL yoursHey, fellas, how is this different from when women are in a relationship, eh?! Eh! Am I right? Gimme some skin! Aw.
3. Birthdays and special occasions will never be forgottenBecause NOBODY will LOVE YOU ENOUGH to even KNOW them IN THE FIRST PLACE.
2. Your entertainment options will always be entertaining to youWe're talking about masturbation, right?
And the number one reason it's great to be single?I would buy this more if the two links at the top of the page under "Related Content" weren't:
1. Independence: That's hot!
Instead of falling into a relationship just because that's what you think you should do, embrace your singlehood and just do it all for yourself.
(a) "How to find a husband", and
(b) "Asexuality" (as if the only alternative to not being in a relationship is chastity for now and ever more.)
(Although, actually, I guess that has kind of been my experience.)
(Sigh.)
2 comments:
I have to write alot these days and so I drank coffee to keep me going. But I had forgotten how bloated and shitty coffee makes me feel. what I am trying to say here is thank you for providing me with this much needed comical relief wedged in between my headache and belly ache.
as for the points you made: sing it sista!
also, how are you? I will email you soon.
gah!
oh that was me. M.E. get it? Ehteshami ova here!
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