September 30, 2007

Log Blog

One of the best things (oh, who am I kidding? After I stopped writing for them, the best thing) about Emerson's student newspaper is its 'Public Safety Log'. As an undergraduate, my dorm mates and I would delight in crowding around the week's Berkeley Beacon to read about the exploits of the campus police and, I am thrilled to announce that it has not decreased in quality by even one iota since the heady days of my youth.
Thursday, Sept. 20

• Police responded to a call from a security guard at 10 Boylston Pl. who said a young man entered the building holding his crotch. In lieu of a publicly available restroom, the man exposed his penis and urinated into a wastebasket. The man fled, and was not apprehended. Facilities management was called to sanitize the wastebasket.
Now, I'm no detective, but I think this quote from a few pages later, in a story about Emerson's scandalous gender neutral bathrooms, might provide a valuable clue:
The reaction from Emerson students, however, has been less vitriolic. Sophomore acting major Michael McNamara said he welcomes the unobtrusive change.

"If it makes some students more comfortable then I'm all for it," he said. "But I'd pee anywhere."
Back to the log.
Friday, Sept. 21

• Police responded to a call from a Resident Assistant in the Courtyard by Marriot Tremont Hotel who found distasteful material on a student's door. Officers arrived to find three phalli posted. The phalli were removed without incident.
How does one "post" a phallus? Is it like a Luther at Wittenberg sort of thing?

And now, to homework.

1 comment:

Mariana said...

How does one "post" a phallus? Is it like a Luther at Wittenberg sort of thing?

If so, I am frightened to think what religion would grow out of it. Though I'm sure they would erect many sacred temples.

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