June 25, 2007

No, Prime Minister!

Jesus, I leave the country for five days and you people depose the Prime Minister?!

Well, I promise some juicy posts about my trip to Sardinia in the next few days, but first I thought it would be appropriate to remember some of the highlights of the Blair premiership (and, more importantly, some of the highlights of my blog's current affairs coverage). To that end, please read the following accompanied by Barbara Stresiand's "The Way We Were". If you don't own a copy of Barbara Streisand's "The Way We Were", a stab in the ear drum with a rusty ice pick should do the trick.

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May 1997: Blair elected in landmark, landslide, Land Rover victory.

May 2000: Blair's eighteenth child, Leo, is born. British tabloids lose several star headline writers to fatally intense orgasms at thought of endless 'Labour' puns.

March 2001: Irate demonstrator attacks Blair by lobbing a rotten tangerine at him during a routine public appearance. When apprehended by police, she gives her occupation as "tangerine thrower", which I think we can all agree is the most awesome thing she could have said.

November 2003: Blair entertains President Bush on his first state visit to Britain. They go to a pub and drink lemonade.

May 2004: Irate demonstrator attacks Blair by lobbing a flour-filled condom at him during a parliamentary session. When apprehended by the police, he does not give his occupation as "condom thrower".

September 2004: ThankYouTony.com continues to offer American support and goodwill to Blair in the post-Iraq fracas.

January 2005: Passionate protester attacks Blair by kissing him full on the lips. Blair responds by raising taxes, probably. Liberal bastard.

April 2005: Blair wins the election. Again. *Yawn*

May 2006: Blair is entertained (maybe) by President Bush on a state visit to Washington that is shrouded in secrecy for security reasons. The two talk about Iraq, discuss their feelings, braid each other's hair.

April 2007: Blair masterfully steers a troubled country through the Iranian Hostage Crisis: Redux, without even a hint of malaise.

May 2007: Blair announces his resignation.

June 2007: Blair is replaced by an uglier, more Scottish man.

Thus ends an era.

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