November 15, 2006

Tomb Much Information

In the mail today:
Dear Mr Ladd,

Many of you will know that since January Councillor Sue Tritton has been fighting, along with myself and local councillors Liz O’Malley and Marilyne MacLaren, to have John Livingston’s Tomb beside 1 Chamberlain Road re-opened.
Yes, you thought (hoped?) we’d forgotten, didn’t you?
It had been sealed shut and fenced off by the owners of 1 Chamberlain Road, who claimed to own the tomb and garden.
...And who, let’s be honest about it, are probably total pooheads.
They subsequently lodged a planning application to seal the tomb off permanently with railings and appealed to the Scottish Executive when the Council was unable to make a decision . . .
The national parliament, of course, has nothing better to be doing with its time.
The Scottish Executive has now decided that they cannot erect railings in front of the tomb. The reporter said, “The section of railing immediately in front of the tomb . . . shall not be constructed.” This is great news.
(That ellipsis is in the original, by the way.)
An official from the Parks Department has visited the site and discussed the matter with the owners of 1 Chamberlain Road.
...In what I can only imagine was a hilariously awkward conversation.
I hope this will bring an end to this unfortunate saga and that local residents can enjoy this popular local amenity again.
You are fucking nuts, do you know that? I walked past that damn tomb every day on my way to school for six years, and never once did I see anyone “enjoying” it. Not only is “amenity” a stretch of the imagination, ”tomb” is a stretch of the imagination— it is a glorified patio with a plaque. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to visit it, never mind wage war in the national legislature over the right to traipse in and out of it at ones leisure.

On the other hand, now that I know the Scottish Executive is open to ridiculous demands on its time, I have a few letters I’d like to send.

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