October 24, 2006

The Brown Line

From BBC News: Train defecator hunted by police
A man has been defecating in trains across south-east England, causing damage costing £60,000 to repair . . .

He waits until he is alone before committing the offence, smearing excrement inside carriages . . .

"There is no particular pattern as to when he appears," said [Detective Constable Donna Fox].
In fact, it’s kind of a crapshoot! *rimshot*

Detective Fox described the man’s behaviour as "a serious public health issue," as well as being "exceptionally anti-social." Just pooping on a train would be anti-social, but I guess going the extra mile and smearing it all over the place is what earns him the "exceptionally."

Detective Fox continues.
"On at least one occasion CCTV footage shows the man being disturbed by a passenger walking through a train."
I imagine the passenger was somewhat disturbed as well.
"If anyone sees this man travelling on the railway network they should not approach him, but call the police or alert train staff immediately."
Right, because approaching him would be your first instinct.

"Oh, honey, look! It's that train defecator fellow! Let's go introduce ourselves! Do you think he's the same in real life as he is in the news?"

It's a slow day at work.

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