September 21, 2006

Syntax Be Damned!

From Newsvine: Panda Bites Man, Man Bites Panda at Beijing Zoo
Zhang Xinyan, from the central province of Henan, drank four jugs of beer at a restaurant near the zoo before visiting Gu Gu the panda on Tuesday, the Beijing Morning Post said.
Four jugs of beer?! Why stop there? Why not four amphorae? Four barrels?
"He felt a sudden urge to touch the panda with his hand," and jumped into the enclosure, the newspaper said.

The panda, who was asleep, was startled and bit Zhang, 35, on the right leg, it said. Zhang got angry and kicked the panda, who then bit his other leg. A tussle ensued . . .

"No one ever said they would bite people," Zhang said. "I just wanted to touch it. I was so dizzy from the beer. I don't remember much."
Talk about a hangover from hell.

Zhang's Roommate: [Whistles] Hoooo-boy, you look like you had a good night last night!
Zhang: [Groans]
Roommate: Man, what did you do, anyway?
Zhang: I... I'm not sure.
Roommate: You might say you're feeling a bit... bamboo-zled!
Zhang: I think I'm going to be sick.
Roommate: Hey, wait a minute... are those bite marks on your leg? Whooo-eeeee! [Does the Ali G finger flicking move]
Zhang: Oh God.
Roommate: And is that... Do you have short black hairs stuck between your teeth? You Casanova!
Zhang: I do have a funny taste in my mouth. It tastes like... It tastes like something endangered.
Roommate: Well, it was a girl, and we are in China.
Zhang: I think I'm going to go Google something.

Seriously, go read the entire news article. Pretty much every paragraph made me laugh out loud.

1 comment:

Adrienne said...

I've already told two people about this story. Thanks for giving me interesting facts for conversation!!

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