September 02, 2006

Department of Piss Poor Policy Practices (Formerly the Department of Alliteration)

Okay, first of all, I know I said I would be flat-hunting in London and therefore not posting much this week. However, I decided that, given how hard I've been working this month, it would be better to take a few days to build up a little more energy before taking on the London housing market. Also, two of my favourite ladies have made triumphant returns (following long absences) to the blogosphere today, so I felt the need to contribute some serious internet love.

That said, I do not love much of what I read on the internet these days.

Item: Some Co-Eds Evicted for Suicide Attempts
NEW YORK — A depressed Hunter College student who swallowed handfuls of Tylenol, then saved her own life by calling 911, was in for a surprise when she returned to her dorm room after the ordeal. The lock had been changed on the door.

She was being expelled from the residence, the school informed her, because she violated her housing contract by attempting suicide.
Seriously, I mean, talk about a roommate from hell. What an inconsiderate bitch.

A spokesperson for the college explained: "Our institution simply does not tolerate attempted suicide. Our hope is that this kick-em-while-they're-down policy will provide the incentive to finish the job properly."

Item: Blair to tackle 'menace' children
Tomorrow's potential troublemakers can be identified even before they are born, Tony Blair has suggested.

Mr Blair said it was possible to spot the families whose circumstances made it likely their children would grow up to be a "menace to society" . . . He said the government had to intervene much earlier to prevent problems developing when children were older . . .

There had to be intervention "pre-birth even", he said . . .

He admitted many people might be uneasy with the idea of intervening in people's family life but said there was no point "pussy-footing".
You know what, Tony? You are absolutely right: there's no point in pussy-footing. So why stop at problem families? Why not arrest teenagers who are having sex to stop them having children in the first place? Why not shoot alcoholics before they can become parents? In fact, I tell you what: why don't we just give you carte blanche to socially engineer the crap out of the country and we'll all send you some roses when everything is perfect in ten years?

I mean, Christ, have I just been exposed to American individualistic liberalism for too long, or is this the most retarded thing you've ever heard? He's talking about penalising people for things they may or may not do in the future, based on probabilistic social trends that aren't even fully understood! Boo, Tony, for making me side with the Tories on something.

Um... Internet love.

3 comments:

alice said...

I'm posting again too, but I suppose you wouldn't know, seeing as I've been removed from your blogroll! Ouch.

Andrew said...

Hey, hey, hey! You were removed when I did my redesign (along with several other people) precisely because you had stopped posting, but I've been following your Japan pictures with glee. The only reason you didn't get a mention was because the other two both wrote something on exactly the same day, whereas you've been back for a while.

Jeez. Consider yourself re-blogrolled.

alice said...

Hurray! That is, indeed, internet love. Good luck flat hunting, btw!

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